Query Questions 1 & 2
Who is your story about? What do they want?
Queries have very specific format requirements, and while it often makes sense to start by defining those parameters, I’m going to save that for last. I want to give you the freedom to really dive into the content of the query—telling your story—first. By starting with these questions you’ll prioritize the key elements of your story, which is where I think most queries fail.
Once you know what you want and need to say, it’s a lot easier to cut and shape it so it fits into the appropriate mold, rather than starting with the constrictions of the format and trying to cherry-pick which details you can cram in there.
So let’s get right to it.
The number one question each query needs to answer is: WHO is the story about?
In this case I mean number one both in the sense that this is the first question your query should answer, and it’s also the most important question your query must answer. The reason is simple. People care most about people. Your book could have a quirky gimmick, or an incredible magic system, or a tense mystery. Maybe it has a unique structure or tons of plot twists. But we can’t get emotionally invested in plot or structure or tone or genre in the same way that we can in character. Who uses this magic, who solves this mystery, who is making choices and reacting to the outcomes? If you can get me to care about a character, then I’m down to follow them no matter what they do or what happens to them.
An interesting character has to topple a kingdom? I’m in!
An interesting character has to mend broken familial relationships? I’m seated!
An interesting character has to evade a killer and bring them to justice? Let’s go!
A boring character, on the other hand—or even a character that I don’t know much about—can be involved in the most complex, twisty plot imaginable and it will be a lot harder to care, because I’m not invested in the character.
Interesting does not mean likeable! Interesting just means that you’ve introduced a character who is nuanced and compelling, and I’m curious to see more.
Using the pitch I shared last time as an example, here’s how I answered Question 1: Who Is The Story About?
Teia Carthan, Halfling Princess and daughter of the Shaylani Witch, survived the plague that killed her mother, the grief that killed her father, the racism of the Council, and—so far—the innumerable attempts on her life orchestrated by her half-brother Jura, the soon-to-be-king of Erisa. Teia abandoned her morals long ago, and now there is nothing she won’t do to stay alive. She will steal, threaten, and blackmail. She will use her power over fire to strike fear in the hearts of her enemies and her power over water to drown them where they stand.
The story is about Teia Carthan. She’s a princess and an orphan and a racial minority within her kingdom. She can use two types of magic. Her half-brother is constantly trying to kill her, and, as a result of all that she has endured, she has become someone ruthless. She determined to stay alive at all costs.
Not only does this give us some basic facts about Teia’s circumstances, it alludes to her personality as well. Teia isn’t a pyschopath. She had morals at one point and was forced to abandon them in order to survive. She does not do these things for pleasure or for power. Staying alive is currently her top priority—maybe her only priority—as the book opens.
Which of course, is the answer to Question 2: What Do They Want?
Every character wants something. They want to get the lead in the school play, or find their sister’s killer, or get back together with their ex, or win first prize in the local baking contest.
I use Disney movies as an example, because they execute it perfectly nearly every time. In almost every Disney animated feature, the protagonist sings a song in the first several minutes of them film. Before the inciting incident. Before everything changes. They sing the “I Want” song.
You get it.
Why does this matter so much? Knowing what a character wants, what a character desires, their goals, their dreams—this makes them active. They aspire to something. They’re driven by something. They seek a change. Novels detail the change that characters journey through. Sometimes characters get the things they want, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they get the thing and wish they hadn’t. Sometimes they get the thing and realize they don’t want it anymore. Sometimes they don’t get the thing and it breaks them. Sometimes they don’t get the thing and realize they never needed it. Whether or not your character obtains their desire is far less important than the fact that they have a desire in the first place.
Desires, goals, ambitions—whatever you want to call them—characters in possession of a want or a need are most likely active as opposed to passive. And we want our characters to be active.
Let’s return to the pitch. What does Teia Carthan want?
She wants to stay alive. It’s hard to want anything else when your brother is sending waves of assassins after you. Maybe in another life Teia would have other aspirations, but since the only thing preventing her brother from ordering her public execution is that he’s not technically the king (yet)—staying alive is really the only desire she has time for right now. Survival is her all-consuming passion.
So here’s the first paragraph of the pitch so far:
Teia Carthan, Halfling Princess and daughter of the Shaylani Witch, survived the plague that killed her mother, the grief that killed her father, the racism of the Council, and—so far—the innumerable attempts on her life orchestrated by her half-brother Jura, the soon-to-be-king of Erisa. Teia abandoned her morals long ago, and now there is nothing she won’t do to stay alive. She will steal, threaten, and blackmail. She will use her power over fire to strike fear in the hearts of her enemies and her power over water to drown them where they stand.
In just part of one paragraph (there’s more, and we’ll get to it next time) I’ve answered the first two questions a query needs to answer (WHO is it about and WHAT do they want) and it only took 96 words. To be honest, I could probably have cut it further if necessary.
Next time we’ll talk about the remaining questions:
3. What are they willing to do to get what they want?
4. Who or what will get in their way?
5. What happens if they fail?
If you want to figure out how to apply these query questions to your own personal query, or would like other personal feedback on your query or pages, I am available for live consultations through Manuscript Academy. Meetings for May 2024 open for booking May 9, 2024 at 3:00pm ET (though members get early access and can book now!)